Homeowner refuses to pay ex-boyfriend back his portion of the mortgage after they broke up, claims it was basically rent: ‘You don't get rent back when you move out’

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Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Nov 29, 2025 9:00 AM EST

Imagine you are living with your partner in the house they own. You don't pay them rent, but you do contribute to the mortgage and the monthly payments that come with living in a house. Then, a few years into the relationship, you decide to break up and part ways.

Should the money you put into the mortgage be returned to you, since you are no longer associated with this house, or is that money basically considered rent for the years you have been living there?

These are the questions the couple in the story below is asking themselves. The homeowner believes they don't owe anything to their ex-boyfriend, and that just like landlords do not pay their tenants back their rent, there is no reason why their ex should get his money back.

The ex-boyfriend, however, firmly believes he has a right to some equity in the house since he has been making mortgage payments for years.

Who do you think is right? Keep scrolling to read the full story.

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  • Woman Looking at House with Green Lawn
    via Alex P

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITAH for not paying my boyfriend his portion of mortgage payment back after breaking up.

    So me and my boyfriend were together 7 years. 3 years into the relationship, I bought a house and I asked him to move in with me.
    via HauntingArtichoke830
  • The stipulation was always that it was solely my house. Until we got married, it was under only my name.
    via HauntingArtichoke830
  • I paid the entire down payment and also paid for most of the mortgage, although he did contribute maybe
    via HauntingArtichoke830
  • Recently we broke up and now he is asking for 4 years of rent back that he paid towards the mortgage and felt he had rights to some equity in the house since hes been making payments for many years.
    via HauntingArtichoke830
  • I don't think thats fair because 1) I was always very clear that this was my house 2) the mortgage amount he was contributing was still lower than the average rent in the area AITAH for not wanting to pay him back?
    via HauntingArtichoke830
  • EDIT: To clarify we were never married.
    via HauntingArtichoke830
  • Couple holding hands with keys and boxes
    via Faruk Tokluoğlu

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Ok_Durian_6185 When he can find a landlord who would pay him back the rent after moving out, then Id consider having the payback conversation, but not until then..... So glad you didn't add him to any paperwork!!
    via Ok_Durian_6185
  • Economy-Profit-2108 Lawyer here. Get a lawyer. By your own admission he paid part of the mortgage, which means in most if not all states he owns part of the house. Rent payments are not the same as mortgage payments. Those are legally distinct concepts. If you are lucky, you can settle out with him for peanuts and get a release of any claim he has to the home. If he lawyers up, he may be able to seek a title action reflecting his ownership or even a partition (most likely resulting in a forced s
    via Economy-Profit-2108
  • wishingforarainyday Talk to a lawyer. He wants to have lived rent free in for years? That's ridiculous. You should remind him of the money he saved having cheaper rent. He's just greedy and trying to hurt you. Updateme
    via wishingforarainyday
  • Aloreiusdanen Tell him to pound sand. Basically he paid you rent. You don't ask for rent money back, doesn't matter if landlord is a GF or a stranger. ΝΤΑ
    via Aloreiusdanen
  • Specialist-Day6721 It's not Mortgage payments. He had no mortgage. He had rent and you don't get rent back.
    via Specialist-Day6721
  • LandscapeUnited7313 He wants back rent back. That's a no. As an adult you have to pay for housing. No free housing. No refunds if relationship doesn't last. Tell him to pound sand. You owe min Nothing.
    via LandscapeUnited7313
  • jjj68548 Tell him it was his rent money for living in your house.
    via jjj68548
  • hdmx539 OP, if you had said "rent," he'd have no claim. However, you keep saying he paid part towards mortgage with an understanding of being in the deed after marriage. Now he's saying he may have a claim on equity. He's not entirely wrong here. I knew someone who was exactly in your situation and when she finally left her abusive ex, he got a lawyer and successfully got money from her, his claim in equity due to partial mortgage payment and doing some work to the house. It is a thing. If I wer
    via hdmx539
  • crafty_and_kind These types of situations always have a "legally" element and a "morally" element to them. Legally what could be your obligation? I have no clue, your local statutes will probably be specific. Morally, as long as you were clear with this guy up front that he was not earning equity in YOUR home at any point, you're all good.
    via crafty_and_kind
  • NTA Your_Daddy_1972 He's not on the deed and you don't get rent back when you move out.
    via Your_Daddy_1972

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boyfriend aita drama house homeowner relationship-drama relationships girlfriend advice rent mortgage couples home money
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